I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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