Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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