mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
