Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
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