Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
