you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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