Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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