hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
