R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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