Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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