so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
