I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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