Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
