Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think I died a long time ago.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
