that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
