did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
