You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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