I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
