Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
