wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
