we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
