i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
