Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
