so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
