This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
