he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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