I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You did what with his pubic hair?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
