Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
