I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
