This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I enjoy the company of your penis
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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