Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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