Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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