It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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