i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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