the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
