I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
