absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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