those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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