i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
