new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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