I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
