mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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