Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
