You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He? As in you personified your dick?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
