I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
