So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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