once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
