I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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