thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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