If that was your dad, he is hot
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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